Not a heartbreaker?

Am I really not? Or am I kidding myself?
And even though I thought it would be simple it didn't turn out to be....am I that dumb or that simple or that naive or that stupid! Or am I just kidding myself and using people for my benefit until it gets serious and then I want to bail. But no....I refuse to believe that I am a heartbreaker!! I am not....I want it simple and easy....I want it beautiful and genuine....I want it to last....I want a friendship, a good time....I want companionship....I want release.....I want to listen and be heard....I want it simple!!!! Why the hell does it always have to be so complicated???
Why does someone always have to get hurt? Actually, everyone gets hurt in this formula....the giver, the taker, the winner, the loser....all the same no difference. Nobody wins - what difference does it make? Why am I still even asking? What's the point?
There's no "just" fooling around....because in the end somebody gets fooled.....and unfortunately, so far, it hasn't been me. I don't want to be a heartbreaker.
I'm done.