Play the strings on my guitar. A tune so romantic, it takes my breath away. Fly me away where no one can see me. Kiss my lips so softly, and I'll close my eyes and dream.
Dance with me. Move to my beat and hold me close.
Whisper in my ears, and let me feel your breath on my neck.
Take me where I"ve never been.
Look into my eyes and drown in their depth.
Let me twirl to my tune. Let me smile from the heart.
Let me go, then take me back.
Undress my soul.
 

Full stop

A story of two young lovers. Each drawn to the other for different reasons. She does not know what he saw in her. Till this day, thirteen years later, she does not know. Maybe the eyes; he said so once. Maybe the innocence, long gone. Or maybe the challenge of conquering a spirit so wild and untamed.
She saw in him the escape. From the loud voices mainly. The raised voices she'd heard since as far back as she could remember; the threats, the accusations, the love enveloped with bitterness and hate. She saw in him a home, a family, a future. She saw security, finally security. He was a Godsend; he was coming down from heaven to rescue her.
Was that love? She did not think so. But with all her young determination she vowed to love the man who would save her. She promised to make him happy. She fought again and again to maintain him. With a stubbornness so unknown to her in her young age, she held on with a fierce loyalty, blind to anything else but her goal. To love him.
Does she regret that now? It's hard to tell. If she goes back in time, would she love him again? Probably yes.
Everyone saw their story as a fairytale. Two young lovers. Building a family. Surviving unimaginable struggles. Succeeding and defeating their hardships. Standing side by side throughout it all. Growing together. Sharing a life. Two beautiful people, making everyone around them happy.
He was happy. She knows he was. Not because he told her so. But because his wish was her command. She did not want the loud voices to visit her home. So she did whatever it took to silence the voices. Be it out of love, or out of fear, she's not sure. All she knows is that somewhere along the way, she lost herself. The spirit so wild and untamed, was tamed. The soul so restless was conquered. The desires remained unexplored. But it didn't matter really. She had her home, she had her family, she had her future, she had her security. That's what she wanted, wasn't it not? And she loved him. As much as she knew how to love someone she didn't love.
The complexity of her rebellion still alludes her. Why did she suddenly let go, after she had been holding on for so long? Why did the self that had been lost to her for years suddenly emerge? What changed? If she could just find answers to these questions, she might know some peace.
Today, he put the last full stop in the last sentence of the last page of the story. Today he fell in love with someone else. Today, he will build another family, another life. Today the story ends.
She wants him to know that she could've been happy, if it weren't for the fear of the loud voices. She wants him to know that he is a good man. She wants him to know that the love she felt for him will remain in her heart forever. She wants him to know that they are bonded for life. What they shared can never be shared with anyone else. She wants him to know that he disappointed her, but that it was not his fault. She should've helped him understand. She wants him to know that her youth was his, and his alone. She wants him to know that she really wishes things were different. That she tried for so long to be as simple as he wanted her to be, but that's not who she is.
She wants him to know that she thought his love for her would need much longer than that to be forgotten. That to her, the love story could not be overcome that quickly. But she understands. She understands that he is simpler, kinder, calmer. That the second love story will not be as rich as her love story. Their love story will remain forever engraved in the minds of many, a story told for years to come.
She wants him to know that he is her memories, her sorrow, her wisdom. She wants him to know that she will always love him. Always.
Be happy.

The silence prevails, louder than the loudest scream. The restlessness gnaws at the heart, and teases the mind. When thoughts wander in a million directions, and refuse to be captured and sorted. Flowing like a river, overflowing with currents. When feelings cannot be contained, but are harnessed against their wish. When the vision is so clear, to a point of being scary, but apathy eventually takes over. When small pleasures are so out of reach. When hard facts are harder to accept.
The emptiness making the void deeper than it ever was. And nothing, nothing can fill it up.
That's when you know, something's not right.

يا رب

يا رب قويني. يا رب صبرني. يا رب اغفرلي. يا رب ماليش غيرك. يا رب ايماني مالوش حدود. يا رب مش هشتكي همي لغيرك. يا رب انصرني و استرني و ارزقني. يا رب. يا رب. يا رب.

Sometimes

Torrents of emotion, all colliding at the same time. Amidst the chaos, you are alone. Maybe someone doubts, or can even guess half the truth. You hide the pain, and move along. The smile is not fake. It's genuine and heartfelt, but so is the pain. You carry the burden of years past and years ahead. You pray and pray, with faith that never bends. You never give up, you never quit. You have the hope. You have the sorrow that teaches that no matter how low you bow, you will never break.
But days pass, and days go by. The hope fades, and with trembling hands, you hold on tighter, because you know that hope is your only rescue from the despair you could so easily surrender to.
They look at you and see brightness. They look at you to gain strength. They look at you with expectations that never end. But at times, you want to rest. You want to lay low. You want it easy and slow. You want the luxury of closing your eyes, without a thousand thoughts streaming through your mind. You want to scream at them and tell them look at me. See me. Feel me. I am standing tall. I am standing strong. I am smiling. But I am broken. I am repairing myself, fractured bit by fractured bit. I have struggled and I have fought. Sometimes winning and sometimes losing. Sometimes on top and sometimes below. I have battled my demons and conquered what little of them I could. But I am human. I am emotions and I am feelings.
You look at them and you wonder. You look at them and you question. Which one of you sees the truth. Which one of you can feel the loss. Which one of you understands the emptiness.
They all demand you give and give. You love to give. You live to give. But sometimes, just sometimes, it would be nice to take a break. To have no worries. To have no fears.
Sometimes, you just want to.......run away.

The Dream

Curves blending. Pathways bending. Lightening crashing and clouds darkening. All conspiring to block the view.
Green meadows and a glistening river. A walk through a golden dream. A dream not true. A dream never realized. That's all it is; a golden dream.
Rays of sulight streaming through forgotten moors. With thunder above, and darkness below, the cries echo, the vastness spreads, but nothing touched, and nothing felt. The wind blows and lifts the leaves, long fallen from forgotten trees. The trees neglected and left to age, grand in their dignity, sad in their lonliness.
One step ahead, one step behind; it doesn't matter what route you choose. No matter how you opt to move, your feet still crush those thirsty leaves.
You were not tricked, you were not duped. You entered those moors with no regrets. But wake up now, and realize the truth. There is no meadow, it is not real. The rare moments you saw the sun, that's only when you lived a dream. A golden dream, I'll give you that.
But wake up now....it's just a dream.