Don't ask me why

When you find a heart that's made of steel, don't ask me why. When you find the warmth replaced by frost, don't ask me why. When you find a smile that welcomes everyone except you, don't ask me why. When you find suspicion, mistrust, and caution, don't ask me why. When you see irony in eyes that glint, don't ask me why. When you see a giving spirit being mean, don't ask me why.
If you're one of them, don't ask me why.
When you come along, don't ask me why.
The smile before did not exclude. The warmth before did not choose. The eyes before did not abuse.
No longer this, and no longer that.
Don't ask me why.....ask them.

The safety net

With every jump, it keeps you safe. You close your eyes and take a leap. You know it's there so you don't despair. You know you'll end up in one piece. You bounce back higher, and start again. The rush you feel keeps you enslaved.
This time it broke. You fell down hard. You're scarred and hurt, but more so confused. You blame the net. "Why did you break? You were so strong. You kept me safe. I flirt with you, and tease you still. I test your endurance, and you never break. Oh safety net, I held you dear. You kept me safe but now I'm torn."
But blame yourself. Why did you leap?

Gratitude

With eyes open wide, so much more remains to be seen. The mystery is not solved and never will be. The ultimate answer cannot be foreseen. A battle of thoughts struggling to be released. But it is never ending. Endurable sometimes. Overwhelming other times. Beautiful often. But almost always sad. A bittersweet sadness of heightened boundaries.
It's worth a smile, not worth the tears. The irony controls every detail. Who comes and who goes does so for a reason. It's a lesson cherished, a lesson so new.
The mind expands with every new experience. Why cry, why mourn? The light shines to reveal a new angle. It's not in vain. It will not be forgotten. When the restless settles, the restless understands.
They came for a reason. They stayed for a reason. They left for a reason.
And the sparkle is sustained.

The journey

On the run for so long. Escaping the well known. Chasing the unknown. Breaking down the barriers within. Letting loose the strangled self. Polishing the shell, but tarnishing the core. Excluding a prisoner from all rational thought. Closing in; moving out. A burial with breath still strong.
A rusty shovel with broken handles is all that's there. Remove the dirt, unleash the spirit, silence the longing for an escape.
Destination unknown, but nevertheless felt. No need for a map, just by instinct led. No fear no more. No regrets no more. Reflections and musings. Lessons learned and guilt absolved. A wiser mind; a kinder heart; a stronger soul.
An acceptance of fate. A withdrawal from shame. A closeness never felt, to all that matters and doesn't. Blessings and curses forever embraced.
For every breath there seems, a beauty of sorts.

Echoes

Below the surface, the noises rumble. An overlap of muffled screams. A thought escapes but another arrives. A feeling fleets to be replaced. A tortured soul but not yet torn. The silence fades. A faraway call awakes the dormant mind. And then it begins. A heart in turmoil; in constant fear. Nothing remains. What is lost is never regained. A consience struggles, but doesn't abstain.
I see your face. I push it away. I do not want it, but it returns anew. It's scrambled thoughts, all over the place. The echo of your voice. The echo of your pain. The echo of your loss. They haunt my day. And I want you still.
The face turned upwards. Those puckered lips. I see them always. I see them still. Those wandering eyes that rest on him. They linger still. I hear the echo. The shadowed lie.
The look that blames, and guilts me still. Those judging words, they echo still. I dream of you. You conquered my years. You stole my youth. You gave me what's precious, but you hurt me still.
And then there's you. I hold you now. I'll lose you then. I hear the echo. The echo of your love.