Buried

I want to find love in my heart for you. I want to remember you without pain. I want to miss you without anger. 

I can't find the fond memories in the midst of all the abuse. I can't untangle the fog around my lost innocence. I can't surrender the child that never existed because you didn't allow her to. 

You took everything and left me wanting. 

You scarred me so deeply, I can't find the wound to heal it. 

And here I am, pouring alcohol all over my soul, and it doesn't just burn, it scalds. 

I want to forgive you. 

But I can't.