Abandonment

The crippling after effects. The curled up fetal position where even the slightest twitch of a muscle requires a will of steel. 

My frozen fingers refusing to write. My foggy mind wandering between valleys of despair out of breath. My emotions stuck somewhere unapproachable. 

And you trick me every single time. You open the door and then slam it shut in my face. My chafed knuckles tell the story of my dire attempts. I pry open and oil the hinges, you lead me out and bolt the locks. 

Misty mornings and rainy nights. 

And I walk away. 

The guilty echo trailing my path, hissing to remind me that quitters quit. And I believe it and welcome the guilt with open arms. My companion and partner in crime. 

"You could've stayed, you left by choice". 

Abandonment comes in many forms.  

I'd take mine over yours every time. 

You leave me wondering.  

You leave me lost. 

You leave me balled up with a frosty heart. 

And when it thaws, 

You leave me again.