I am trying so hard to hold on. Trying so hard to be positive. The dark wave is engulfing me and I am resisting. I am fighting it but I think it is winning. I need an outlet. Not a temporary outlet. A permanent one. I don't know how to react. My head is spinning with endless thoughts. My heart is pounding so strongly that my chest is having a hard time containing it. I want to run. Where to, I don't know. To no destination probably. To the unknown. No, I am sick and tired of the uknown. I am sick and tired of my roaming thoughts. Please rest, dear mind. Give me one break. Just one true break. I don't need a quick high. I need some peace. I need some serenity. I need....I don't know what I need. Maybe that's where the problem lies.
It is approaching I know, this darkness I so hate. With all my might, with all my strength, with all my will power, I am trying to push it away. I am looking inside me for all the positivity I have ever known. I loathe self pity. I am not a victim. Never have been. Never will be. But I am so fucking tired. Just tired. Really really tired.
Just one break. I ask no more.
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