Confessions

I confess that I am sad. I confess that I am no longer optimistic. I confess that I hold on for the sole reason that I don't want anyone to see me fail. I confess that I am losing my faith. I confess that I am broken, shatterred, hurting, and hopeless. I confess that all I want to do is curl up and die. I confess that I see no reason to keep on going. I confess that I question my every move, my every decision, my every thought, my every dream, and my every gesture. I confess that the guilt is eating me up. I confess that I am lost. I confess that I am stunned, amazed, and have no idea who I am or who I want to become. I confess that I see no better tomorrow. I confess that I hate my restlessness. I confess that I wish I was different.
I am soft yet hard. Emotional yet practical. Strong yet weak. Modest yet arrogant. A heartbreaker and broken hearted.
I am disappointed time after time after time. I am hardened and selfish. I am stubborn. I am determined a false determination.
I am a fake.