With sudden clarity, she knows what her answer will be. She lowers her head and smiles. She pulls him up so that his head is level with hers. They were almost the same height when she wore high heels. Today, she was glad for this. She needed to look in his eyes when she gave him her answer.
He looks at her expectantly, hopefully....knowing her answer but nevertheless anxious to hear it escape from between her lips. He knows she'd been waiting for this moment for months. He knows she wants him more than she had ever wanted another man. He knows she endured what no other woman would have. He knows that although she appears strong on the outside, she is the most vulnerable woman he's encountered. What's more, he knows that he is lucky he hadn't lost her. That in his moments of stupidity, he could've lost her as easily as he is holding her hands right now. He knows he gave her hell when he gave his heart to another woman. He knows that she took him back only because she loved him more than she loved herself. He knows that her pride and dignity were second to none, but only less when it came to him. He knows the three letter word will be music to his ears. He waits, looking at her, devouring her beauty with her eyes.
She clears her throat and smiles her radiant smile; the smile that lights up her eyes and exudes innocence. She takes a deep breath, and closes her eyes briefly, and then opens them again. Without further hesitation, she says it.....
"No."
His silence is louder than any words he can say. He is unable to utter a word. Disbelief and lack of comprehension are writtten all over his face.
She continues.
"I suddenly realized that I don't love you. I love the idea of you. I love your love story. I envied what you had with her. I wanted it so much to be me. This is what I loved. This is what I wanted. With you, maybe. With someone else, maybe that too. Now, when I look at you, I see a person I love dearly. But I don't see the man of my dreams. I don't see someone I want to marry. I'm sorry baby, my answer is no, I will not marry you."
He looks at her expectantly, hopefully....knowing her answer but nevertheless anxious to hear it escape from between her lips. He knows she'd been waiting for this moment for months. He knows she wants him more than she had ever wanted another man. He knows she endured what no other woman would have. He knows that although she appears strong on the outside, she is the most vulnerable woman he's encountered. What's more, he knows that he is lucky he hadn't lost her. That in his moments of stupidity, he could've lost her as easily as he is holding her hands right now. He knows he gave her hell when he gave his heart to another woman. He knows that she took him back only because she loved him more than she loved herself. He knows that her pride and dignity were second to none, but only less when it came to him. He knows the three letter word will be music to his ears. He waits, looking at her, devouring her beauty with her eyes.
She clears her throat and smiles her radiant smile; the smile that lights up her eyes and exudes innocence. She takes a deep breath, and closes her eyes briefly, and then opens them again. Without further hesitation, she says it.....
"No."
His silence is louder than any words he can say. He is unable to utter a word. Disbelief and lack of comprehension are writtten all over his face.
She continues.
"I suddenly realized that I don't love you. I love the idea of you. I love your love story. I envied what you had with her. I wanted it so much to be me. This is what I loved. This is what I wanted. With you, maybe. With someone else, maybe that too. Now, when I look at you, I see a person I love dearly. But I don't see the man of my dreams. I don't see someone I want to marry. I'm sorry baby, my answer is no, I will not marry you."
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